Raison d'etre
by steshin
Summary: AU Meyrin learns that if you really love somebody, sacrifices have to be made....And that those sacrifices don't really give you that happy satisfied feeling. AM AC
1. Digging up the Past

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed

**A/n: **Okay. I know what you're thinking. Why would an author who's an asucaga fetish and doesn't really like Meyrin make a story where Meyrin is the main character and Athrun Zala is her BOYFRIEND! Well, I'll answer that. I was dared to make it. That's right! I refused to put down a challenge.

Anyway this story is inspired from the movie **Little Black Book** and for those who've seen it…then I already think you know who gets the guy in the end. There are some big changes but the plot is the same. This story was suppose to come out after Student Affair

But the anonymous darer emailed me…said some stuff that got my blood boiling and well here it is…Damn, now I have a LOT of stories to do.

Well on the plus side this story will only be 5-6 chapters. THANK GOD!

**Summary: **Meyrin thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She had the perfect boyfriend, Athrun Zala. But one day her gal pal pushes her into digging up his history, or in other words, finds out more about his ex. Athrun has always told her she'd never want to know about his past. And he'd be right.

**

* * *

****Raison d'etre **

**1**

**>_Digging up the Past_**

She slumped in her car seat with a box of Kleenex by the passenger's seat for easy reach. Pearly tears glided down her cheeks and her lips twitched and twitched downwards. Her hands loosely held the steering wheel.

Her car was parked in an empty parking lot by the city park. The view in front of her was the mirror smooth lake with geese flying over it.She had been crying for half an hour now.

She could feel her heart like it was breaking to pieces over and over again…

How did all of this happen exactly?

It all started short weeks ago.

* * *

Meyrin hummed a little, as she climbed the steps of Athrun's doorstep.

She brushed some red hair off her face before pressing the doorbell. A blue-haired man answered it shortly with a smile on his face.

"Morning, Meyrin." He said pulling the door wider for her to enter.

Meyrin smiled at her boyfriend. "That's me alright, Morning Meyrin."

Athrun softly chuckled at his girlfriend's cheerful attitude.

"Why the smiles?"

Meyrin pecked him on the cheek. "I'm always happy to see you, much more when I come to have breakfast with you."

She strolled to the kitchen and smelled the delicious aroma.

"You're making pancakes aren't ya?"

Athrun chuckled once more and tapped her nose lightly.

"Your sense of smell never fails, does it? Take a seat and then breakfast will be served shortly."

"Okay, Sweetheart." Meyrin chirped. Athrun's face suddenly fell a bit.

"Meyrin…"

"Yeah?"

"You know how uncomfortable I am with pet names, right?"

Meyrin gasped. "Oh! Right, I'm sorry, Athrun. It slipped." Athrun smiled once more and placed the stack of pancakes down. They ate happily and talked about what they'd be doing and sharing a bunch of jokes.

"I'm hanging out with Fllay later." She told him after swallowing a bite of his flapjacks.

Athrun simply smiled. "That's nice."

"What about you?"

"Coaching the soccer team as usual on Wednesday."

"Today is Wednesday." Meyrin informed. Athrun shrugged. "Yup. I'll be off after breakfast. Do you mind?"

"No, of course not."

After breakfast, Meyrin helped clean up the table while Athrun did the dishes. When everything was spotless, Meyrin kissed Athrun on the lips. "I'll see you later."

"Have a great day, Meyrin." Athrun said as he hugged her. "Oh, and can you water my plants for me while I'm gone?"

Meyrin smiled. "No problem. Now have a good day at work."

Athrun sighed. "I just hope we'll do well in our soccer practice in time for the competition."

"You will!" Meyrin urged. Athrun, her boyfriend, was a soccer coach and there's always times actually lots of times when he'd only talk about soccer. Meyrin would pretend to be interested in soccer so as to make Athrun feel supported.

"I'll clean up around your house while you're gone." Meyrin stated.

"Meyirn, you're my girlfriend not my maid."

"Oh Athrun just go." She giggled. Athrun placed his duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Call me if you need anything." He said as he went out the door.

Meyrin sighed happily as she closed the door. Athrun would always let her stay in his house while he was gone for the day. Usually while he'd be gone, she'd watch some DVD's or pig out and most of the time; clean. She just liked seeing the happy expression on Athrun's face when he sees how spotless his house is.

She looked around his place for anything to do.

Meyrin noticed the messy papers and boxes by the hallway closet.

"Right. I'll start here."

She gathered some of the scattered papers and then placed them in an empty box. She did that for at least five minutes. After sealing the box with some duct tape, she opened the closet and pushed it in to the wall.

The closet was as big as two refrigerators and it kept a few boxes in it. One box however caught Meyrin's eye. Unlike the other boxes that were old, dusty and musty, this one was sturdy and maintained clean.

"It must keep something precious for Athrun." She assumed. Out of curiosity, the redhead took the box out. Under the light, she saw that the box was made of wood where the lid had a beautiful design of roses and such.

Meyrin carried it to Athrun's bed where she sat and opened the lid.

There were photos, letters and other small nice things.

She took a photo and was able to read the back first.

"My true love." She read aloud. She looked at the front and her eyes widened.

Staring back at her was a picture of a beautiful blonde haired woman with aurora eyes smiling, as Athrun hugged her.

Meyrin couldn't believe it. She placed it back in the box and took out another photo.

This one had Athrun and the blonde laughing, as they held one ice cream to share.

She placed it down again and this time took out a letter from the box.

It was actually a poem.

_Dear Cagalli, _

_They say love comes knocking in the front door But you, my dear, landed gently from above _

_Never have I seen radiance till my gaze found you_

_I was stabbed by cupid's sword of love_

_Rather than by a mere arrow_

_My love for you in my veins do flow_

_You and I were destined to be_

_If I can't deny this feeling so true_

_Then neither can you_

_Say I love you_

_For I have said too much to you_

_Love,_

_Athrun_

The small paper slipped through her fingers. Meyrin was stunned to read it, it was like every word she read, she heard Athrun's voice read it. And there was also one thing too…she never knew Athrun did poetry.

He once told her that he never was fond of poems and literature but the poem she just read proved it otherwise.

This woman…Cagalli? Who was she really? She rummaged once more into the box and found more and more poems dedicated to her and more and more photos of her.

Athrun never wrote Meyrin anything aside for notes indicating he'd be out and such. They never rented a cabin in the mountains (she saw a picture of him and the blonde girl by a log cabin).

She felt like this was all unfair. Athrun never told her he had an ex-girlfriend. Well…now that she remembered it, she did remember him mentioning about having one and she just told him not to bring the past back.

Well she wished she hadn't so that she'd be prepared for this.

* * *

"You mean he kept pictures and poems about her?" Fllay said as she and Meyrin had coffee in their favorite café.

Meyrin nodded. "And he had more pictures of her than of me!"

Fllay looked at her friend who was twisting the straw of her cold mocha frost in knots.

"And get this! Athrun wrote poetry for her! POETRY! Athrun never wrote me anything as beautiful as what he wrote for this blonde!"

She gave Fllay a photo of her. Fllay held it with her manicured hands and examined it.

"Do you know her name?"

"Her name's Cagalli."

"Surname?" Fllay pressed.

"No information." Meyrin slumped to her seat.

Suddenly she noticed the serious and creepily evil expression on Fllay's face.

"Well, my dear Meyrin, I think its time for you to do some detective work."

She flipped her flossy red hair. Fllay was a host in a popular talk show _That's Fllay!_

The only reason why the show was a hit was because of the hot babe hosting it and Fllay took a lot of pride off of it.

"Detective work?"

Fllay nodded. "Find out more about this so called ex of his. Make sure that he's really over her. Who knows Meyrin, your Athrun may still love this babe."

Meyrin gulped. "You think?"

"That's what we're going to find out." Fllay stated.

"We?"

"Well…as your gorgeous friend, I'll help you!"

Meyrin was silent. Fllay gave a demanding look. "What?"

Meyrin scratched her cheek and laughed nervously.

"I dunno, Fllay. But usually when you help me there's always a price to pay."

"Don't worry! I've changed. I won't ask for fees this time. I just love meddling with other people's affairs especially if they're people I know."

Meyrin sighed. "Okay."

Fllay smirked. "Good. Now let's go over to your boyfriend's house."

* * *

"Nice place." Fllay noted sarcastically, as they entered inside Athrun's house.

Fllay went to the living room and sat on the soft red couch.

Meyrin came in shortly with the box.

They studied it together.

"Boy, Meyrin. You're boyfriend went everywhere with her. I mean look—The Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower…damn. Even the Great Wall of China.

Meyrin did her best to purse her jealousy.

Fllay yawned of boredom and threw the pictures back in the box.

"Mey-Mey, this is all in the past. We need some current stuff!" Fllay told her.

Meyrin looked thoughtful. "Maybe he has something in his computer?"

Fllay beamed. "Wonderful! Now you're finally learning how to think."

They rushed to Athrun's personal computer. After plugging it in and turning it on, the login box appeared.

"Quick. What's Athrun's password to his username?"

Meyrin looked reluctant. "Fllay… I don't know… Maybe we're just overreacting. I mean, who knows? He probably doesn't remember her anymore. They did break up, right?"

Fllay rolled her eyes skyward. "You're telling me that Athrun would forget about a girl whom he traveled with around the world. I don't think so! Men are fascinating creatures, Meyrin."

"Well…I don't know his password." Meyrin admitted.

Fllay sighed in annoyance and flicked the back of Meyrin's head.

"Some girlfriend you are!"

"OW!"

"Try typing your name, Meyrin. Maybe that's his password."

Meyrin typed in her name. But then a dialog box appeared saying

_INCORRECT PASSWORD_

Meyrin exhaled deeply. "I don't think we'll ever find anything."

Fllay, once again, rolled her eyes and took over the keyboard and typed something in.

Then instantly they were logged in to Athrun's username.

"Hey!" Meyrin squeaked. "How did you know the password?"

Fllay grinned. "I was just guessing around."

"So what was the password then?"

Fllay nodded. "Cagalli."

Something uneasy came to Meyrin's stomach.

"His password…is his ex-girlfriend's name?"

Fllay nodded. "Sorry to break it to you, Mey. But if that doesn't have anything to do with something going on then I don't know what is!"

"Maybe he's too lazy to change his password." Meyrin tried to have a logical explanation.

"Right. Keep dreaming, Mey."

Then Fllay noticed something in Athrun's desktop. A heart-shaped icon. She took the mouse and double-clicked it. The program opened and she and Meyrin were utterly speechless.

It was a gallery… a gallery full of pictures of the blonde-haired girl.

What's worse for Meyrin…was that the computer's speaker played out a seductive song. Meyrin hadn't noticed that Fllay enlarged a particular picture, it was only then she noticed when Fllay tapped her shoulder. Meyrin felt like screaming.

The blonde girl or Cagalli was wearing a two-piece bikini. Her company was Athrun…and Athrun's parents!

"Athrun told me he never brings girls to meet his family!" Meyrin shrieked. Disgusted with what she saw.

"Well, well." Fllay shook her head. "It looks like your boyfriend has been keeping secrets from you."

"Stop it! Athrun loves me!" Tears started to form in Meyrin's eyes.

"Then explain this gallery, Meyrin. I don't see a single picture of you in here."

Meyrin kept silent, as Fllay continued.

"Face it, Meyrin! Your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex…"

"Then what am I suppose to do? I love Athrun."

"Here's what," Fllay placed "we find his girlfriend and end what they still have between them."

"H-how are we suppose to find her then?" Fllay flipped her hair. "My secretary will sniff for her whereabouts. Meanwhile you pretend to Athrun that nothing happened today."

"Is this right, Fllay?"

"If you love Athrun then it is."

* * *

The next day, Meyrin tried to pretend nothing happened, as she took a walk in the park with Athrun. But she was doing a bad job.

Athrun noticed his girlfriend's silence.

"Meyrin, what's wrong. You've been awfully silent."

Meyrin waved her hand hastily. "No, Athrun. I'm fine."

Athrun surveyed her face before she sighed. "If you say so."

"Say Athrun…"

"Yes, Meyrin?"

"What's that?" Meyrin pointed to a pinkish-red stone hanging around Athrun's neck with its string.

"Oh this?" Athrun touched it. "It's the most important thing I have."

Meyrin lit to a small smile.

"Why?"

"Well… This stone is called haumea. It protects me and it hasn't failed me yet. I'd be lost without it."

"It must be VERY important if you say you'd be lost without it."

Athrun nodded. "It has a deeper meaning in it, too…" He mumbled.

"What?" Meyrin didn't miss what he said.

"Err… Nothing. Are you hungry?" Athrun asked her. Meyrin felt that he was trying to change the subject.

Meyrin shook her head. "No, you?"

Athrun shrugged. "I'm fine." He wrapped his arm around Meyrin. Meyrin relaxed into his touch wishing this moment could last forever.

* * *

The next day, Meyrin decided to have coffee at her usual café.

She arrived at the counter.

"One dark coffee please." Meyrin placed her order.

The man seemed to probably be a new employee because he eyed her weirdly.

"I'm sorry, kid but we refuse service to minors." Meyrin's eyes were widened at what he said.

"Me? A minor?"

He pointed at her pigtails. "Your hairstyle is kiddy. Your clothes are the same size as my kid's and you have the face of a thirteen year old. Plus you're short."

Meyrin turned red at what he said to her.

"I am not a kid!" She yelled. "I'm a mature adult!"

"Wow…" The man noted sarcastically. "You sure act like it."

Once again, Meyrin blushed.

She was about to give him another piece of her mind when somebody placed a hand on her shoulder and then whispered in a low voice.

"Don't worry, I'll get your order for you. You can pay me when we're sitting down."

The storm inside Meyrin's heart faded.

She turned around to thank the person only to stare at her dumbfounded.

It was the blonde girl…her boyfriend's ex…Cagalli.

The blonde woman smiled. "Are you okay?"

"Umm…err, yeah and thanks…"

Meyrin stride away and sat on a table for two. She quickly got her cellphone and punched in Fllay's number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Fllay, it's me, Meyrin."

"Gees, I think I can recognize your voice, Mey-Mey. Now what's up?"

"You won't believe this! I'm at our café and guess what?" Meyrin glanced at Cagalli who was still ordering something in the counter.

"Cagalli, my boyfriend's ex is here!"

"WHAT?"

Fllay must've been lazily lying on a couch or bed or something because next thing Meyrin heard was a THUD.

"Okay, Meyrin!" Fllay said. "Don't tell her your name! And try to strike a conversation with her."

"Is that the full plan?"

"Meyrin, the plan is to befriend her and get dirt on your probably-cheating-boyfriend, get it?"

"Got it."

The dial tone sounded off shortly after that. Meyrin placed her cellphone inside her purse.

Cagalli came to the table and placed their coffee on the table. She took the seat across Meyrin.

"Thank you very much for your help." Meyrin started as she gave her a dollar to pay for the dark coffee.

Cagalli shook her hand. "Nah! Forget about the payment. It's on me."

Meyrin surveyed her. She was beautiful, had a big bust, a great figure and shapely legs.

She wondered how Athrun could've dumped her.

"I'm Cagalli." She offered her hand to Meyrin. Meyrin took it, squeezed and shook.

"I'm…umm…err, Luna."

Okay. It was probably wrong to use her sister's nickname but Fllay told her not to tell her real name and besides…Luna, the real one, was in Fiji with her husband, Rey.

"That's a nice name." Cagalli said with a smile. "My full name's Cagalli Yula Athha. Yours?"

"It's err… Luna Allster."

Cagalli blinked. "Hey, you have the same surname with that host of _That's Fllay_. Are you two related?"

"No. I don't even watch that show." Meyrin lied.

Cagalli sighed. "Thank God, you don't. That show is stupid. It triggers people to look at the world sexually. I mean look at that hostess's outfits! I've seen showgirls with more modesty."

Meyrin laughed. She had to admit that was funny. If Fllay heard this, she'd kill her but she wasn't so it was okay.

"You must find it strange chatting with a complete stranger." Cagalli said.

Meyrin shook her head. "A person is just a stranger you need to get to know to become your friend. That's what I believe."

Cagalli nodded. "Yes, that's true. So what do you do for a living in the city?"

Meyrin blushed. "Well…you see I'm aiming to work in this media network. But I still need to earn some money to be able to go to Oxford that's where you apply."

"You're quite ambitious."

"Yeah…it must sound so silly."

"No it isn't. It's admirable." Cagalli told her. "So how do you earn the money?"

Meyrin blushed once more. "I…do odd jobs."

"Why don't you get a better job?"

"I've already tried that but other people always get the spot, so I decided to stick to walking dogs, babysitting and whatnot."

"Interesting things must happen then." Cagalli took a sip from her coffee.

"Yeah it sure does." Meyrin admitted.

They conversed more about things like cars, TV shows, actors, actresses and Hollywood stuff. And Meyrin was having a ball talking to her. She even forgot for a while that Cagalli was Athrun's ex-girlfriend.

"Oh, shit!" Cagalli exclaimed. "I was having so much fun talking, I almost forgot about my meeting."

"What's your job?"

"I work for a modeling agency." She sighed as she got up from her seat.

"I really had fun talking to you, Luna. Maybe we can meet up again tomorrow."

Meyrin nodded at the opportunity. "Certainly. Where'd you like to meet?"

"At _Lady's Bar _in Aprilius street. Let's say 5 o clock?"

"I'll be there." Meyrin said. Cagalli giggled. "And if you think I'm a lesbian, I'm not."

"Bye!" Meyrin waved. Cagalli waved back as she went out. "See you tomorrow, Luna."

* * *

"…And she was really friendly and we had fun talking. It was like we were sisters."

Meyrin related to Fllay.

"I'm meeting her tomorrow evening for another girlish chat."

"Wow." Fllay said. "But Meyrin have you forgotten that she's the girl you're boyfriend has a gallery of?"

"I…err…yeah I forgot."

Fllay sighed. "Well tomorrow keep pretending to be her friend. And then try to land a subject on boyfriends and then get the info you need on Athrun."

"Okay, I'll do that." Meyrin said sorrowfully.

"And Meyrin." Fllay decided to add one more thing.

"Yes?"

"She's not your friend."**

* * *

**

**A/n: **How do you like or not like it? I had a hard time with the Asumey interaction. Oh well, like I said to those who've seen the movie you probably know how this will end but don't spoil everyone. Ciao!


	2. On exes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed

**A/n: **Nothing new.

**Summary: **Meyrin thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She had the perfect boyfriend, Athrun Zala. But one day her gal pal pushes her into digging up his history, or in other words, finds out more about his ex. Athrun has always told her she'd never want to know about his past. And he'd be right.**

* * *

**

**Raison D'etre **

**2**

**>_On Exes_**

When Meyrin came to Athrun's house, he was lying on his stomach on his lumpy bed. Groaning from another grueling coaching day.

"Hey, Athrun."

Athrun lifted his head and smiled at her. "Hey, Mey."

Meyrin was uncomfortable with him right now, who wouldn't after the photos, poems, password, and most especially the gallery.

She felt somewhat…betrayed.

"Want me to make dinner?" Athrun asked as he got up the bed.

Meyrin shook her head fiercely. "Don't you're still very tired."

"Don't worry about it, Meyirn." Athrun responded before giving her a quick kiss. He strolled over to his kitchen. Every room in Athrun's house was in reach due to the fact that it had only one floor.

Meyrin sighed and followed him and sat on a chair in the kitchen table.

"So what'll be, Meyrin?" Athrun asked considerately as he took out some cooking oil and spices from the cupboards.

Meyrin thought. "Err…How's about the meal you prepared for lunch last Friday?"

Athrun beamed. "Okay! One Cagalli Chicken Fillet, coming right up."

She swore she nearly died from what he just said.

"What?"

Athrun raised an amused eyebrow. "What I thought that's what you wanted?"

"...I never knew that dish was called…that." Meyrin choked out her words.

Athrun shrugged, as it were nothing. "That's just what I call it. It's my favorite recipe."

He whistled and started in making the dinner leaving Meyrin to her thoughts.

She kept silent before and after the meal.

* * *

"Remember the plan, Meyrin." Fllay reminded her.

Meyrin nodded slightly, unsure if Fllay caught it. They were at Fllay's luxurious condo.

On Fllay's bed laid Stellar Designer clothes, the most expensive brand of clothes there was and being able to earn a lot of money, Fllay could easily buy them and it was quite unusual for the said redhead to allow Meyrin to borrow one her fabulously expensive clothing.

Meyrin looked into the full-length mirror and surveyed her reflection. This time she let her hair down. She wore a simple peach dress with a white collar and small ruffles on the edge of the skirt part.

"You look quite elegant in that." Fllay complimented, as she lit a cigarette.

Meyrin looked at her and bowed her head. "Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes, Fllay. Everything in my closet is so…well umm highschool girlish."

That was all true. Meyrin decided not to tell Fllay about the 'Cagalli Chicken Fillet' thing.

A puff of smoke came out of Fllay's lips and Meyrin wrinkled her nose at the secondhand smoke.

"You better tell me everything that happens." Fllay declared, as she ran her hand thru her crimson hair.

Meyrin sighed. "I will."

"Good. Well, gotta go. I have to go check out the editing of _my show_. Come on, I'll drop you off to the bar on my way."

"Sure." Meyrin said. "But drop me off a block away."

* * *

"Luna!" Cagalli called and waved at Meyrin whilst sitting down on a secluded table.

Meyrin approached and sat down across her.

"I've been looking forward to this all day." Cagalli said, before taking out her compact and checking on her make-up.

Meyrin just smiled. "Me too."

"I hope I didn't take you away from anything important." Cagalli remarked noticing the not too enthusiastic face of 'Luna'.

Meyrin shook her head. "Not at all. I have a lot of free time."

Meyrin's eyes took a quick scan of Cagalli. She was wearing hot black leather pants and, a white-laced top and a pair of opened-toed heels.

Insecurity hit Meyrin, next to Cagalli…Meyrin felt conservative and boring.

"They serve the best pineapple mango smoothies here. I've already ordered for us." Cagalli told her after placing her compact back in her purse.

"Mmm.I look forward to it."

"I also ordered some black forest cake if that's okay with you. I mean you're not lactose intolerant right?"

"Nope." Meyrin said feeling like a child.

"So…Cagalli. Umm…how was your day?" She asked the blonde.

Cagalli smiled. "Same old, same old. I had to be there for the photo shooting of some models for a cover of a magazine."

"You must be really busy."

"Yes. But my job doesn't really occupy my time."

A waitress came and placed their smoothies and cake on the table. Meyrin and Cagalli thanked her.

"What about you, Luna? How was today for you?"

Meyrin chuckled. "Nothing much. You could say boring."

Cagalli took a taste of her cake while Meyrin watched her like a specimen.

"So, Cagalli…" Meyrin decided to start. Her legs felt weak.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a boyfr--?"

"Cagalli!" A pitchy voice piped in before Meyrin finished her question for Cagalli to touch. Both Meyrin and Cagalli looked at the direction of the voice.

Meyrin's jaw dropped.

It was a pink-haired girl with wide eyes, a star clip between her bangs who was wearing a lavender sequined tube dressed that was low on her cleavage and almost above her hips.

Meyrin recognized her all too well, as the supermodel, Meer Campbell!

Anyway, The pink-haired girl stood by their table with a haughty smirk on her pout lips.

"Meer." Cagalli hissed that name like poison.

"What a coincidence to see you." Meer spoke in a voice that seemed to belittle Cagalli.

Her blue eyes then daggered at Meyrin, which almost scared the girl to death.

"Decided to take interest in the same sex, I see." Meer mocked.

"If that's how you see two friends hanging out then I propose you have your eyes examined, Meer." Cagalli retaliated.

Meer chinned up with a "Humph!" With a hand on her waist she uttered. "I'll go now."

"Whatever." Cagalli scoffed.

"Ta-ta, biatches." Meer said before sashaying away from them. Meyrin blinked at what happened. Cagalli looked at Meyrin with her lips in a straight line.

"That's Meer Campbell. A model in my agency, as you've seen, we don't see eye to eye."

Meyrin let out a nervous chuckle.

"Eh-heh…I see. So why do you two hate each other exactly?"

Cagalli sipped her smoothie through her bendy straw and let out a sigh. "I have bad history with her…"

Meyrin blinked yet again. "History?"

"Well…" Cagalli's face etched hesitance to tell her. "I don't know if I should tell you."

Meyrin smiled cheerily. "Don't worry, you can tell me anything at all." Cagalli's lips twitched and turned to a smile.

"Well…okay, I'll tell you. But promise you won't tell."

"Cross my heart." Meyrin said, as she traced a cross on her chest.

"Well, Meer is one of the most vindictive clients I have to handle." Cagalli said taking a bite off her cake. "She is such a bitch. I don't think we should further discuss that."

"Well what else is it about her?" Meyrin inquired naively.

The face of Cagalli fell and her eyes looked down sadly on her hand that clutched her fork loosely.

"Well, she…"

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it--."

"No, I will." Cagalli said firmly.

"She well…is the very reason I broke up with my boyfriend four months ago."

Something clenched Meyrin's heart for a squeezing hold of ten seconds.

"Oh, I see… What exactly happened? If you don't mind me asking." Meyrin asked that took a lot of guts to do. She wasn't really a person, who'd dig in, in personal affairs of others but she was after all in a mission.

"You see…my boyfriend had to go to Rousseau city for one and a half week. He was staying in this hotel, the same one some models were staying in, one of them including Meer Campbell. Then two days later, Meer sent me a video of her…fucking in a hotel room with my boyfriend. I was devastated of course…"

Athrun cheated? Meyrin found it hard to believe.

"So you two broke up?"

Cagalli nodded. "I was so hurt. But I didn't tell him the reason why I was dumping him because he should already know very well why."

"I see…" Meyrin choked.

"But two weeks after that, I missed him like hell; I called him on the phone. But it was his answering machine that picked up. I was pathetic I admit. I cried and bawled how I was sorry and how I needed him back on my message, but he never replied."

"He never answered back?"

"Well… I suppose he was already with Meer and moved on faster than I did…Oh, crap! What am I doing? We're supposed to be having fun not telling sob stories."

Cagalli tried had to chuckle. "What about you, Luna? Anything to talk about?"

"Err…nothing." Meyrin said with sweat damping down the back of her neck.

"Oh don't lie."

"Really nothing…so Cagalli. I hope it's ok with you if I ask…"

"Yes?" Cagalli waited.

"Who's your ex-boyfriend?" After spitting that out, Meyrin immediately regretted that because she didn't want to hear the answer.

Cagalli exhaled melancholically. "His name's…Athrun Zala."

Meyrin gasped. Cagalli's eyes widened. "Why? Do you know him?"

The redhead gulped. She had to come up with something fast.

"I…err well I'm the one who cleans his house!"

Cagalli was a little taken back. "You clean his house?"

Technically that was true for Meyrin to admit. "Yes. Odd jobs remember?"

"Oh right. I forgot." Meyrin watched the blonde sigh sadly.

"Tell me, Meyrin. How's he doing?"

Meyrin shrugged. "I err don't really see him that much. He's a soccer coach."

Cagalli smiled. "Yeah. He really loves soccer, doesn't he? So do I."

"You like soccer?"

"Soccer was my life. In fact I met Athrun back in college. Soccer was what intrigued us to each other. I was a soccer player and I'd always see him sitting in the bleachers watching how I play." Meyrin watched Cagalli stifle a heartfelt giggle.

"He was such a sweet person. After college, we traveled around the world."

Meyrin frowned for two seconds. That was damn right. "Where'd you get the money?"

"I spent one-fourth of my life savings. It was kind of foolish but it was worth it. After all money is for spending, isn't it?"

"What else did you guys do?"

"Well…couple stuff. I remember I used to call him Teddy bear and he'd call me Princess."

"……….." Jealousy and disbelief overcame Meyrin.

Meyrin listened at how Cagalli dreamily talked about everything about Athrun. Meyrin would tear her eyes off but had to stay in control. Cagalli and Athrun had a history that Meyrin was happily oblivious of two days ago. And Cagalli was telling things about Athrun she never knew before. Plus, she needed answers.

Finally after their plates were clean and their glasses empty, Cagalli smiled over at Meyrin and said.

"It was really fun talking to you. I mean I never talk about my ex to anyone. It feels so easy to tell you anything."

Meyrin nodded. "I had fun, too. But…umm…don't get upset but you seem a little obsess about your ex."

Cagalli blushed. "Well yeah…it's because I still might lo"—

"Why don't you date? There are a lot of interesting guys out there for you!" Meyrin cut her off before Cagalli could say the /l/ word. Cagalli half smiled and sighed.

"Who knows?" Meyrin continued.

"You could end up with another man who'll be better than Athrun will ever be."

Cagalli thought about what Meyrin said for a split second.

"Yeah, you're right. I could find someone else…"

"That's the spirit!" Meyrin cheered.

"…Or I could end up with Athrun. Wouldn't that be funny?" Cagalli chuckled.

Meyrin swallowed hard. "Err…yeah that is possible…"

"Maybe me and Athrun are just a couple of boomerangs."

Meyrin lifted an eyebrow. "Boomerangs?"

Cagalli happily nodded with enthusiasm. "You know. Someone you let go into the world and then"—

"—He comes back to you." Meyrin finished.

"That's right. In fact Athrun and I bought two boomerangs from our Australian trip. And we promised that no matter what happens, we'd always be together in the end."

Meyrin was speechless as she stared at her empty plate.

"I still have mine. Framed in my bedroom, hoping for that day we'd be together."

"I…see…" Meyrin replied softly.

"But then again, he probably forgot about it a long time ago. So call me a hopeless romantic."

"Hopeless romantic." Meyrin whispered to herself.

"What, Luna?"

"Nothing."

Meyrin felt her relationship threatened. The more Cagalli believed she'd get Athrun, made Meyrin believe in it, too.

* * *

"…And that's basically what happened." Meyrin told Fllay. They were sitting on Fllay's leopard coach, sipping coffee and Meyrin telling what had happened.

"It's worse than we thought, Meyrin." Fllay spoke.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Fllay." Meyrin sniffled, tears forming in her eyes.

Fllay reached over to her and patted her back.

"Meyrin, don't give up hope."

"But Fllay"—

"Let's use the information we gathered." Fllay smirked.

Meyrin could only blink in wonder. Fllay rolled her eyes in disbelief that Meyrin didn't understand what she just said.

"Let's use something you just found out."

"Which is?"

"Meer Campbell."

* * *

Meyrin came to Athrun's house at 6 o clock on the dot. A sigh escaped from her lips before she rang the doorbell. Her bangs on her face shading her eyes from sight.

The door was answered promptly.

"Meyrin!" Athrun said happily before giving her a squeezed hug and a peck on the lips.

A feigned smile played on Meyrin's face. "Athrun."

"How was your day with Fllay?" He asked, shutting the door after her.

"It was okay." Meyrin told him in a low and sad voice that wasn't missed by Athrun.

"Meyrin, are you okay?" Athrun asked concernedly, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips on her forehead. Meyrin smiled. She had to admit he made her feel better. "Yeah, I am."

They said nothing, as they stayed in the embrace.

"I'm glad you're fine…" Athrun whispered.

Meyrin was about to reply when she saw something on the wall. Something she never noticed until now.

It was something framed. A boomerang.**

* * *

**

**A/n: **Yawn. So sleepy. Don't worry your heads; Student Affair chapter 43 is almost done.


	3. An Intentional Pain Delivered

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed

**A/n: **School going okay. Though I fear my grade in Home Economics will be lowered down a notch (coughidontreallypassassignmentsasmuchasishouldcough). But I did unexpectedly well in my Filipino exam. I was on the top fifteen of Filipino grades. I couldn't believe it! I'm never good in Tagalog and this happens? Oh well.

**Summary: **Meyrin thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She had the perfect boyfriend, Athrun Zala. But one day her gal pal pushes her into digging up his history, or in other words, finds out more about his ex. Athrun has always told her she'd never want to know about his past. And he'd be right.**

* * *

**

**Raison d'etre **

**>3****_ An Intentional Pain Delivered_**

"W-what?" A black-haired man clad in graduation attire stared dumbfounded at his girlfriend or rather ex-girlfriend in her terms.

Meyrin nodded. "I'm sorry, Shinn. But both of us have different goals in life. We belong in different paths and if we stay on one path together that would only make us forfeit our dreams and ambitions in life. I'm sorry."

Shinn shook his head in disbelief. "You're really serious about this?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are you sure that's what'll happen to us?" He asked her with a fierce look in his eyes.

Meyrin swallowed. "I'm certain."

Meyrin bowed her head at him. "I'm sorry, Shinn." She turned her back on him and started walking away only to freeze when Shinn started his opinion.

"Meyrin, what if you're wrong!" There was a tint of anger in his tone.

"What if we were meant to be together! What if we're destined! What if this is the biggest mistake of your life!"

…_biggest mistake of your life!"_

…_biggest mistake of your life!"_

Meyrin sat up immediately on her bed. It was a dream or a nightmare or whatever.

She touched her forehead and realized that dream had taken her to her college graduation. Where she had broken up with her past boyfriend, Shinn Asuka. Beads of sweat formed on her arms and back. With a sigh, she pulled up her blanket and tried to fall asleep again.

The next day, Meyrin and Cagalli spent time together. They'd go shopping, eating and talking about their lives. Though Cagalli was truthful, Meyrin was lying under the false pretenses of the name Luna.

But Cagalli was happily oblivious. And though it shouldn't be…Meyrin was happy spending time with her. They spent two weeks together.

And it seemed the closer Meyrin was to Cagalli, the closer Meyrin was to Athrun.

* * *

One Tuesday it was lunch and it was spent by Meyrin at a restaurant with Fllay Allster who said she had exciting news.

"Why do you seem so happy?" Meyrin asked politely. Fllay was wearing pink pants and a white tube top.

Fllay grinned. "Well…you'll have to thank me first."

"Thank you?"

"Okay! Now I can tell you! Well…guess who I had to do a pre-interview a couple of hours ago?"

Meyrin tried to think. "Famous fashion designer, Stellar Louisser?"

Fllay slapped her forehead. "No!"

Meyrin blinked. "Then enlighten me please."

"Okay. I had a pre-interview with guess who? Meer Campbell!"

Meyrin's mouth opened to say something but couldn't, she had to register everything first in her mind.

"But—how?"

"Well, I called her up last night. I got my secretary to find the number and I told her about this show we're doing about beautiful women and that we'd have to do a pre-interview and she bought it."

Meyrin didn't know what emotion she should be feeling right now.

"And I was able to dig something up to. I'll show it to you."

"Show it to me?"

"I secretly placed a hidden camera while we were doing the interview. Now…" She pointed at Meyrin's salad. "Finish your veggies and I'll give you dessert."

Something uncomfortable hit Meyrin in the stomach.

"Err…how will this help me?"

"It will help a lot."

* * *

"_So it must be hard having to deal with paparazzi, I should know." Fllay commented to Meer who sat in a red armchair opposite to Fllay's. She wore a white miniskirt and a pink midriff._

_Fllay wore red shorts and a yellow halter shirt. Both females' legs were crossed._

_Meer sighed as if it meant exhaustion. "Tell me about it!" She flipped her pink hair._

_Fllay then gave her, her commercial smile._

"_Do you confirm on the stories about your health issues?"_

_Meer blinked. "Oh, you mean how easily I throw up? It's really nothing serious, it just happens during emotional breakdowns and such like when I'm upset."_

"_You mean like a bad relationship?" Fllay offered._

"_Well yes, like that."_

"_Speaking of relationships, tell me more about your previous boyfriends?"_

_Meer laughed. "Well, I don't know if I should."_

"_Oh just one boyfriend! One that you…well let's say took from another?"_

_Meer's face showed confusion. "Is this going to be on the show?"_

"_Don't worry. This is just out of personal curiosity. I just want to know more intimate details of the most famous supermodels of all times."_

_Meer seemed to buy the cheap flattery._

"_Well I do have one."_

_Fllay smiled with anxiety. "Shoot."_

"_Well you see this man happened to belong to my most hated agent in the company"—_

"_Cagalli?"_

"_Yes…wait, how did you know?"_

"_You mentioned that name before we did the interview."_

"_I did? Hmm…oh well. Anyway I flirted with him all night until we got in bed. He then told me how he only dated Cagalli for benefits"—_

"—_Benefits?"_

"_Money, traveling and most especially—sex. He never had true feelings for her. I had the room with a camera and I sent the video of my intimate escapade with Athrun to Cagalli for retribution."_

"_And then what happened?" Fllay asked._

"_Well, she dumped him and I stayed with Athrun for a while. A week or two later Athrun got this voice message from Cagalli begging him to come back."_

"_Did Athrun call her back or something?"_

"_No! But he played it for me. We listened to her pathetic message of that blonde wench—begging and sobbing for Athrun to come back. Crying how incomplete her life is without him. She was pathetic! Athrun and I played and laughed at it all night!"_

Fllay pressed the pause button.

Meyrin was utterly speechless. This was…despicable. How could Athrun do such a thing? In fact, this Athrun, Meer spoke of was far away from the Athrun she knew and loved.

Fllay took out the disc from her DVD and placed inside the casing. She then placed it on Meyrin's palms.

"Show it to her."

"…But this is too horrible, I'd be purposely hurting a friend."

Fllay sighed at her difficulty. "When you show this to her, Cagalli will hate Athrun for life."

Meyrin looked at the CD and sighed sadly. This was the lowest moment for her. She had been spending time with Cagalli for a couple of weeks and she felt a strong bond of friendship between them.

"And, Meyrin, once again."

Meyrin looked up to Fllay with tears forming in her eyes.

"She's not your friend."

Meyrin pondered, Cagalli was such a sweet person. She was really friendly and everything only there was one downside…she was in love with Athrun.

Meyrin knew what she had to do.

* * *

"_And then what happened?" Fllay asked._

"_Well, she dumped him and I stayed with Athrun for a while. A week or two later Athrun got this voice message from Cagalli begging him to come back."_

"_Did Athrun call her back or something?"_

"_No! But he played it for me. We listened to her pathetic message of that blonde wench—begging and sobbing for Athrun to come back. Crying how incomplete her life is without him. She was pathetic! Athrun and I played and laughed at it all night!"_

"_So…Athrun never loved Cagalli?"_

"_You got that right!"_

"Stop it."

Immediately, Meyrin obeyed and hit the stop button. She looked silently at Cagalli anticipating for something. They said nothing as they sat on Cagalli's couch, where the TV was in front of them.

"Where did you—you get this?" Cagalli asked softly, sniffles being muffled by a hand over her mouth and nose. This was hard on her; Meyrin could obviously see it and she felt ashamed of herself for making her feel this way.

"A…friend of mine worked for this show and"—

"Okay, I understand." Cagalli stopped her. Suddenly, Cagalli stood up and headed out the door, Meyrin followed her.

They walked down the sidewalk for a good fifteen minutes without saying anything but even if words weren't said, Meyrin heard Cagalli's heart in deep anguish.

Cagalli abruptly stopped when Meyrin told her. "I should have never let you seen that."

The blonde turned around with a painful smile laced on her face.

"No, Luna. I appreciate that you did. If you hadn't then I would've stayed in this delusion that Athrun still loved me and that what we had was the greatest thing imaginable—but thanks to you, I've realized how stupid I was."

"You aren't stupid! Athrun is the stupid one!"

Meyrin watched how diamond-sparkling tears overflowed Cagalli's beautiful visage and then to Meyrin's surprise Cagalli hugged her.

"Thank you, Luna. Even though we've only met for how long…you've been the greatest friend to me"—Shortly after that were choked up words of sobbing that Meyrin interpreted to be the sadness overwhelming the blonde for what she thought was the greatest love was false.

When Cagalli let go, Meyrin was startled to see a cold glare from Cagalli's eyes.

"He's over there." She said in an audible whisper.

Meyrin blinked and looked to where Cagalli was looking. It was across the street and inside a small bar. By the window was Athrun Zala gulping beer wearing a sweater.

"Look at that stupid hair." Cagalli said trying to fight away the tears.

"Yes…it is stupid." Meyrin nodded.

They stared at the man they were both sadly in love with and let down by.

"I gave that to him."

Meyrin looked at Cagalli.

"I gave him that Haumea necklace." Cagalli said. Meyrin's eyes widened.

She recalled that day.

"_Well… This stone is called haumea. It protects me and it hasn't failed me yet. I'd be lost without it."_

"_It must be VERY important if you say you'd be lost without it."_

_Athrun nodded. "It has a deeper meaning in it, too…" He mumbled._

"I told him the stone would represent me and that I'd protect him."

Cagalli…gave him that necklace. Meyrin repeated in her head.

"I wonder why he still has it when he claims he doesn't love me…" Cagalli sniffled.

A bitter laugh escaped from her.

"He's probably keeping it as a reminder of the person he made a fool of."

She turned to walk away.

"Cagalli"—

"This is exactly why…you shouldn't leave things in a complete mess and then starting over a new life…because you'll only end up hurt when you discover something about the past you never properly arranged."

She looked at Meyrin, the tears still not ceasing. "See you, Luna."

Cagalli walked away from the area, walking away to brush off the false things she had with Athrun.

Meyrin looked over at Athrun sitting in the bar. She had done it. She got what she wanted and that was Cagalli hating Athrun. She had won. But why wasn't she happy?

Her eyes looked sadly at the blue-haired man. She watched how lovingly he held the Haumea stone and then pressing the stone to his lips.

Meyrin was confused. She thought Meer said Athrun was a liar. Or was Meer the liar? But then again, Meyrin didn't care anymore. She didn't know who Athrun was anymore.

But most of all…she didn't know who she was anymore.

She had lied to a friend.

She had lied to herself.

Meyrin may have won…but it was a hollow victory.**

* * *

**

**A/n: **Hmm…the chapters seem to get shorter. Oh well! Ta-ta!


	4. A man's perspective

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed or the song: **Goodbye my Lover **by **James Blunt**.

**A/n: **So some of you guys are hoping for either Asumey or Asucaga…well like I said, why not watch the movie and see for yourself who ends up with who. But if not, one of you routing for one of the two possible pairings will be…sad, disappointed and such.

But by the way I'm writing this story everything seems obvious.

**Summary: **Meyrin thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She had the perfect boyfriend, Athrun Zala. But one day her gal pal pushes her into digging up his history, or in other words, finds out more about his ex. Athrun has always told her she'd never want to know about his past. And he'd be right.**

* * *

**

**Raison d'etre **

**4**

>_**A man's perspective**_

"Another beer again, Athrun? I think you should stop." Lacus advised, as she took the empty glass of beer from his table and placed it on her tray. The pink-haiored girl had known Athrun way back since college. They used to go out together until they met their significant others.

Athrun smiled. "Please, Lacus? I really need some tonight."

A sigh from Lacus before she was obliged to follow, she looked at him worriedly first.

"I think you should really get some sleep but hey, you're the customer."

A couple of minutes later, Lacus returned to the table with another glass of foaming cold beer. No sooner had Lacus placed it on the table, Athrun swiped it off and drank it in one gulp.

Lacus took the seat across him on the table. "One of those days, huh?"

Athrun blinked. "What?"

Lacus smiled for a millisecond. "One of those days…where you regret some part of your life. It happens a lot here."

Athrun looked at Lacus sadly. "Is it that obvious?"

Lacus nodded. "Just a few minutes ago, I saw you kiss that stone around your neck." Athrun's immediate reaction was clutching on the pink red stone. "Err…yeah."

"Care to fill me in?" Lacus offered. "I'm more than just a waitress around here." Athrun looked at her thoughtfully and felt the intense pressure of his heart limit down. He exhaled deeply.

"I just can't get over it."

Lacus nodded while listening intently. "And what is it, exactly?"

Athrun blinked. "You see about my breakup"—

Lacus cut in with a gasp. "You and Meyrin broke up!"

Athrun shook his head fiercely at her sudden reaction.

"No! I didn't! It's the breakup with me and…" He trailed off with an unhappy look in his face. "You know."

Lacus understood. "I see. But shouldn't you be over it. It's been four months since you guys called it quits."

Athrun banged his fist on the table. "We didn't call it quits! She did!"

Realizing what he just did, Athrun looked around him to see if the other people inside were offended of what he just did. But saw that they were too drunk to care.

Lacus regained his attention successfully with a faked cough. "Athrun, it seems to me. You're still not over…her."

Athrun had a pitiful look on.

"I just don't understand, Lacus…We were so happy together! We loved each other so much and then I go out of town and come back and find her breaking up with me!"

"Why did she do that anyway?"

Athrun shrugged. "I don't know. She never told me. The thought of her in love with another male is driving me up the wall!"

Lacus tried to find a solution for him. "Have you tried talking to her?"

Athrun snorted. "I wish! But I never saw her since she closed the door out of my life." Lacus frowned at the gleaming wetness layering over his green eyes. Athrun immediately wiped the forming tears with his sleeve.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

"She's the reason why I have commitment issues now." He took a moment to stifle a cry.

"We had plans together. So far we had only accomplished one: to travel around the world. But before we could finish the list of things to do, she shuts me out of her life."

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

"Athrun, I see you still have preserved feelings for her." Lacus pointed out.

"I miss her, Lacus. I was so happy with her. Being near her were the best of my days."

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

The pink-haired girl looked sadly down the table. "Then answer me one thing, Athrun Zala."

"Yes?"

"What does Meyrin mean to you?"

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

Lacus could see right away that Athrun was hesitant.

"Meyrin is my girlfriend, I adore her."

"But not love?"

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

Another moment of hesitance took place in Athrun.

"I…I've been lately asking myself that."

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

"Has your issue on an ex-girlfriend done something with you and Meyrin?" Lacus asked politely. Athrun interlaced his fingers together.

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

"I well think it might have done something on my part." Athrun admitted truthfully.

He looked at Lacus with a confused and tired look.

"Lacus…lately I noticed being near Meyrin made me feel closer to that person of four months ago. It's like I can feel her in Meyrin's presence. I even smell her sweet papaya flower scent. That's why I can't help always hugging and kissing and making love to Meyrin these past few weeks because I feel like I'm touching and kissing my first love."

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

Lacus shook her head. "You really were stabbed by cupid's sword."

"Eh?"

"Remember that poem you asked me to help you with in college? To impress a certain soccer player?"

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

Athrun blushed. "Yeah…I do. I can't believe you still remember that."

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

"As I recall…after you read her your poem, she fell head over heels over you. Then you two became inseparable."

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take._

Athrun chuckled. "Yeah… Our relationship was deep. She was always bright like sunshine."

"And so was her hair." Lacus said. "Athrun…you really need to see and talk to her."

"I can't." Athrun responded. Lacus frowned. "Why not? Just because you can't find her, I'll help you look for"—

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be_

"It's not that, Lacus. It's just that what if I do find her and then I find she's with someone else. I'm scared if that happens."

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

"Well, we'll never be sure if that will happen or not if you won't take a risk. It's a fifty percent chance, Athrun. You know that."

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

Athrun shook his head sorrowfully. "It's too late anyway, lacus. So let's just drop it. I'm with Meyrin now. I'm okay with her."

"Athrun Zala!"

Athrun was taken back with the fierce look in his friend's eyes.

"How dare you say that? You treat as if Meyrin is just an alternative! What kind of person are you now!"

"Lacus"—

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

"I'm not finish yet! I have nothing against your intense feelings for the girl you loved but what offends me is you treating Meyrin like she's just something for you to feel special about."

Athrun protested. "She is special to me."

"Yet she compares nothing to how you feel about a certain blonde, correct?"

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

"I…I…"

"Athrun, the way I see it. You have to fix this. Yes, one person will be hurt. But it would be better than having to keep her long with no love harbored for her. It would be painful for both your parts."

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

Athrun felt his heart clenched. "I'm confused, Lacus. I know whom I love and I know whom I've wronged…but I don't know what to do regarding these two people in my life."

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

"You'll know, Athrun." Lacus told him with a straight face. "You'll know."

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

"Lacus!" A brunette from behind the bar counter called. "Could you get some whiskey from the freezer? My hands are full."

"Sure, Kira." Lacus said, as she stood up. She looked at Athrun once more.

"You'll know, Athrun, I guarantee it, just like I knew that Kira was for me."

She took her tray and rushed to the counter.

_And I will bear my soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

Athrun watched the interaction between the two. Kira came from a broken and poor family while Lacus came from a well off family. They were always looked down upon their families regarding with their relationship. And had problems, tons of them. But now, you couldn't see it anymore.

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

He watched at how they laughed and smiled…and fondled.

It was a nice sight and Athrun wished he could do the same of what these two were doing…with the person he still loved with all his heart._

* * *

_

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

Athrun came home and he did what he always did when he was all-alone at night.

Besides jacking up, he'd bring out a familiar box with him to his bed and stare at all the wonderful mementos of her and him.

_I'm so hollow, baby, _

He smiled at all the places they've been to and what they had gone through. He remembered her all to well.

But looking at it, all these things inside the box were just solid proof of things of what used to be.

_I'm so hollow._

Athrun was faced with the torturing reality of everyday, everyday without her.

He got up from his bed and padded over to face a familiar wall outside his bedroom. He looked hopefully at a framed boomerang.

He sighed.

"I really do hope we're a couple of boomerangs."

_I'm so,_

He clutched his haumea stone and went back to his bedroom.

Athrun stared at his bed and imagined the time when he and the love of his life made sweet love on it.

_I'm so,_

As he did, he couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

He got into the bed, curled up like a fetus and cried beside his precious box.

He grabbed a picture of her smiling face and held it close to his Haumea stone and released his anguish.

He cried.

He regretted.

He wished and hoped…that they really were boomerangs.

_I'm so hollow._**

* * *

**

**A/n: **Sniff. This was a little angsty for my taste, but hey this story is genred under angst.

BTW Student Affair still needs a few more tweaking. You understand right?

(Gets stabbed with forks) guess not…


	5. That's Fllay, Live!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed.

**A/n: **Umm…all I can say is…sorry it took so long.

**Summary: **Meyrin thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She had the perfect boyfriend, Athrun Zala. But one day her gal pal pushes her into digging up his history, or in other words, finds out more about his ex. Athrun has always told her she'd never want to know about his past. And he'd be right.**

* * *

**

**Raison d'etre **

**5**

>**_That's Fllay, Live!_**

Meyrin came to Athrun's house to maybe try to talk to him. She sighed, as she once more tortured herself to recall what had just happened.

"This is exactly why…you shouldn't leave things in a complete mess and then starting over a new life…because you'll only end up hurt when you discover something about the past you never properly arranged."

Cagalli's words had a strange strangling feeling in her heart, but decided to push that aside. Meyrin pressed her index finger against the doorbell and waited for Athrun to answer.

There was no reply. She bent over to a pot of hydrangeas, moved it and took the key from under it and unlocked the door herself.

"Athrun?" She called out weakly. There was no reply and Meyrin suddenly noticed how lonely this place looked. She walked more, trailing footsteps. "Athrun?"

She stopped at the doorway of his bedroom. She popped a head inside and took a peek at what the Zala boy was doing. He was curled up in his bed like a sleeping cat.

Meyrin walked over and sat by his sleeping state.

Her heart stopped at what she saw up close. Athrun was clutching the Haumea stone to his chest and…a picture of Cagalli beside it.

Her heart clenched. Tears glided down her face.

After everything she did…she had only hurt herself.

Covering her mouth to restrain a cry that would wake him up, Meyrin stood and exited herself out. This whole night was turning into a nightmare.

* * *

She forgot about how she had dragged herself back home as the morning sun greeted her. Forcing herself to get up, she threw off the covers that had kept her warm that night. Meyrin massaged her temples. _What a headache…_

_**RING! RING! RING!**_

"Hello?" She said after swiping off her cordless phone from the nightstand and pressing it to her. It was the enthusiastic voice of Fllay Allster.

"Mey-Mey!" Meyrin's friend practically screamed from the other line. Meyrin groaned.

"Morning, Fllay."

"That's me all right! Morning Fllay!"

Why does that sound familiar?  
Fllay spoke on. "Say Meyrin, are you busy today?" Meyrin glanced at her mini calendar on the nightstand.

"I'll be babysitting the Elsman twins but other than that, I'm free." She replied to Fllay. Happiness could be felt by Fllay's next few words.

"Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!"

"Err…why is that?" Meyrin dared ask, she didn't really like that over exaggerated squeal of joy Fllay made just now. Fllay cleared her throat.

"Meyrin. The producers have allowed me to do a live show today. It's my first and well you see I'm a little nervous."

Meyrin blinked her sleepy eyes. "Gee, Fllay. You didn't sound nervous a few moments ago."

"Let me finish! I'm a nervous wreck, I mean come on, it's live and I need someone to support me."

"And that would be me?"

"Of course, silly! I also have a little surprise for your birthday today."

Meyrin's eyes widened and immediately glued directly back to her mini calendar and indeed saw she had missed the words under July 12, "My Birthday".

Damn, she had completely forgotten her own birthday, good thing Fllay called.

"I forgot it was my birthday." She admitted to the phone.

Fllay giggled. "So can I expect you at the studio? It'll really mean a lot to me."

Meyrin thought. "Well, I guess I could come…when do you want me?"

"Ten-ish. I really need you to come, Mey." Fllay begged. Meyrin ran a hair through her red hair. "Okay, I'll come. It just better be worth it."

"Oh, but it is. It really is." There was something about that tone of voice Fllay used that pulsated Meyrin's stomach.

* * *

The studio was huge and Meyrin almost had a hard time finding Fllay's dressing room if not for the help of security. All the walls were creamy yellow and floor was smooth and slippery. It was also very shiny and reflective and any pervert would love it here to check out the reflections of underwears from skirt-wearing females.

Good thing Meyrin wore red shorts, she also had a white top with a pink and yellow jacket and a white hat where she let her pink tinted shades rest. Her hair in bouncing pigtails.

She knocked on Fllay's dressing room door that had a shiny star drilled to it.

It was answered by the make-up artist who had a make-up brush in one hand who eyed Meyrin with distaste.

"Whaddya need?"

Meyrin blushed. "Well…you see…I…"

"Sophie, what are you doing?" Fllay came to the doorway in a an apple green tube top and white culottes with high cut shoes and pulled Meyrin in, Meyrin, of course, had no choice to be dragged in.

Fllay glared at her make-up artist. "You can damnly take your leave now." She hissed.

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Whatever!"

She exited with a slam of the door and a soft utter of "Bitch".

"So," Fllay eyed Meyrin with glee "I'm glad you came and you'll like my surprise."

Meyrin smiled. "Is that a fact? Well, now what am I suppose to do?"

Fllay giggled, and it sounded forced out, she playfully slapped Meyrin's shoulder.

"First we put you in our surprise." She flipped her commercial hair.

Meyrin blinked. "Okay."

Fllay went to her dresser and came to Meyrin again but with a yellow tie on her hands.

"Tie this around your eyes." She instructed.

Something doubted in Meyrin's mind. "Well…okay but just loosely okay?"

"As long as you won't be able to see."

Meyrin took it from Fllay and tied it around her eyes with a very loose knot. Now all she could do was depend on Fllay for her temporary blindness.

"How many fingers am I holding out?"

"Four?" Meyrin tried to guess.

"Actually it was a fuck off but that doesn't matter." Meyrin jolted in surprise as two hands grasped on her shoulders very suddenly.

"Relax, it's still me, Mey. Now let's start walking and I'll guide you."

* * *

"Are we there yet, Fllay?" Meyrin asked, completely helpless. Her arms frantically moving, in fear of bumping into something, Fllay replied, "Relax, We're almost there. Trust me."

Finally, Meyrin was lightly pushed sown to a seat.

"Is my surprise ready, Fllay?"

"Oh, yes it is…" Fllay uttered in a dark voice. She untied the necktie from her eyes and Meyrin's eyes practically popped out from their sockets.

"SURPRISE!"

People…no, an audience boomed at her. There were a huge variety of people and somewhere below the stage were cameramen and sounds in charge with huge equipments recording Meyrin's shocked face. Meyrin tore her sight away from them and looked at Fllay with bewilderment.

"What's going on!"

Meyrin's voice was amp up with the sound equipments and heard by the audience all thanks to those loud and very clear speakers.

Fllay chuckled and looked at the audience. Fllay's face was seen in a huge screen behind Meyrin and herself.

"Meyrin…You're on my show. Tell her what show everyone!"

"THAT'S FLLAY, LIVE!"

Everyone yelled out and cheered with applause and whistles.

"But why?" Meyrin asked with shock and confusion.

Fllay and the audience laughed. "Because we need you on today's segment…which is on?"

"ON EXES AND BOYFRIENDS!" The audience answered for Fllay.

Meyrin's heart thumped faster than usual and beads of sweat broke on her body and it wasn't due to the very bright lights.

"You see; Meyrin Hawke, my best friend, has been secretly investigating her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend!"

"OOOOHHHHH!" Came out from the audience's mouths after Fllay's statement.

Meyrin was just to shock, her best friend was selling her out for her show?

"Her boyfriend is Athrun Zala, the coach of Orbs Soccer team!" Soccer fans cheered at this, recognizing the name of course from previous wins the soccer team had achieved in Nationals and Finals.

"And his ex-girlfriend whom Meyrin was snooping around is none other than the wealthy modeling agent, Cagalli Yula Athha."

A picture of Athrun and Cagalli from Athrun's treasure box came to view in the large screen and Meyrin almost died, the audience just had shocked reactions. The picture then was cut off and focused back on Fllay and Meyrin.

"So let's bring out the blonde exy of Athrun Zala: Cagalli Yula Athha, come on out from the soundproof backstage!"

Crew people brought in Cagalli, who had a professional suit on; she was surprised to see Meyrin there. The audience cheered and gave Cagalli catcalls.

"Luna, what are you doing here?" She asked taking a seat beside her. Meyrin couldn't say anything. Everything was going to come out she knew it.

"Cagalli, do you know why you're here?" Fllay inquired. The blonde nodded and answered. "You're secretary called me two weeks ago and asked me to be a guest in your show. She said the show was now reformed to entertain the business and political world."

Meyrin's eyes widened. Fllay had planned this from the beginning.

Laughs and guffaws surrounded the bounded area.

"Well, Cagalli. It was all a set up."

"What?" Cagalli could not believe what she was hearing. "What do you mean? And why is my friend, Luna here?"

Fllay flipped her hair, which is a noticeable habit, and smiled sweetly at the blonde.

"I mean, we said that to get you on our show. And by the way Luna isn't here."

"What? But Luna is right here sitting beside me"—

"Lunamaria Hawke, or preferably Luna, is in Fiji with her husband right at this moment. The girl beside you is her little sister, Meyrin Hawke."

The audience oohed. Cagalli's face was filled with disbelief as the screen showed the real Lunamaria Hawke with a blonde man, she guessed to be Rey. It was their wedding picture.

Cagalli looked at Meyrin. "You…lied to me. Meyrin is your real name?"

Meyrin nodded with shame in her eyes. Tears were already beginning to form in her eyes.

"…Why?"

Fllay answered for Meyrin. "She was just doing it to protect her relationship."

"Relationship!" Cagalli parroted in an impatient tone. Meyrin cringed, she wanted to leave right now but her butt seemed to be glued to the chair.

"We'll get to that." Fllay said. "Now, let's bring out Orb's supermodel, Meer Campbell!"

And then entering from stage right was Meer Campbell with a very sexy plum dress that almost looked like lingerie with seemingly nothing underneath, her pink hair in a Tomb Raider style ponytail accompanied with the signature 24 karat gold star clip.

"What's she doing here!" Cagalli demanded with Meyrin temporarily erased from her thoughts.

Meer haughtily took a seat beside Meyrin.

"Meer," Fllay began with a question for her "do you know why you're here?"

Meer laughed like an aristocrat.

"Because you're doing a show on beautiful women and you're going to compare me with these two." She replied while eyeing Meyrin and Cagalli with distaste.

"Actually no. It was all a ruse."

"A flower?" Meer asked, the audience laughing.

"No, it was a scam!" Fllay corrected. "Now, a question for both you and Cagalli, why do you think you're here?"

"I don't think answering that will be helpful." Cagalli snarled at Fllay. Meyrin's hands on her lap fisted with nervousness.

"You two were all brought here…all because of Meyrin Hawke!"

The audience roared.

Cagalli and Meer immediately shot their gaze at the red-haired teen who was sitting between them.

"What does she mean, Meyrin?" Cagalli asked.

"I…" Meyrin was about to speak when Fllay butted in.

"Well since you weren't here earlier, I'll tell you. Meyrin Hawke is Athrun Zala's current girlfriend!"

Shock, anger, jealousy and other unknown emotions was evident on Cagalli's face.

"A-Athrun?"

"That's right, Cagalli. Your ex-boyfriend whom Meyrin shares to me you're still very in love with." The audience's noise seemed to become background noises for Meyrin and Cagalli.

Cagalli glared at Meyrin. "How could you? How could you lie to me? You must've had a few laughs, huh!"

"Cagalli!" Meyrin finally found her voice. "I was just trying"—

"—To save your relationship, Fllay said that already. But in my opinion, everything would've been better if you had never interfered with the past."

A tear skated down Meyrin's face. "I-I'm sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Meyrin." Cagalli told her in a cold voice.

"After all, you succeeded. I hate Athrun now. But as bad as he is…he is still too good for you!"

Meyrin stifled back a cry.

"Well that's a lot of stuff in our show. Meer Campbell, I almost forgot to mention, is the reason why Cagalli Yula Athha and Athrun Zala broke up!"

Meer's eyes rounded as the audience just kept on eating the scandal Fllay delivered on a silver platter.

"You see… Meer slept with Athrun Zala when Cagalli was still his girlfriend. They did it in Rousseau city when Zala boy was having a business trip."

Gasps filled out the every little cranny. Cagalli shut her eyes and prayed that this was all a damn dream, a nightmare.

Meer mouthed a "You bitch" at Fllay and she just smirked.

"Well without further delay, let's bring out the man of the hour, Athrun Zala!"

The audience clapped their hands as the blue-haired man entered from stage left, stunned to see the people.

"What's going on?" He uttered. "Fllay, you said this was Meyrin's birthday party."

Fllay chuckled. "Isn't that sweet? Care to turn around and greet the birthday girl?"

Athrun turned around and his eyes became round and large like saucers. The bouquet of lilies he had brought for Meyrin dropped to the stage floor, as he could not believe who was sitting there beside Meyrin.

"Cagalli?" He scarcely believed it. The girl who had broken up with him and never showed herself to him was sitting in front of him.Cagalli didn't have the same reaction, she stared at him stone cold.**

* * *

**

**A/n: **Oohh…. this'll be interesting to write on. Ciao! Oh and if you wanna know what I look like in real life check out my **LJ/Homepage.**


	6. In which Meyrin learns

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed.

**A/n: **I hate long school days of nothingness. Well here you go, chapter six, shaken not stirred, weird thing to say when things are stirring and ending. I say ending cause this is the last chapter.

**Summary: **Meyrin thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She had the perfect boyfriend, Athrun Zala. But one day her gal pal pushes her into digging up his history, or in other words, finds out more about his ex. Athrun has always told her she'd never want to know about his past. And he'd be right.

**Raison d'etre **

**6**

>**_In which Meyrin learns_**

"Go."

"Cagalli, please"—

"I said go!"

Athrun stood there totally listless by his supposed girlfriend's doorway. He had just come home from his business trip in Rousseau city. He had come here to surprise his lovely girlfriend. He had expected a hug—a kiss from her when he showed up in front of her with a big smile plastered on his face but he got something else…

…An angry face with streaming tears.

What was worse on Athrun was…he did not know why the hell she was upset. He tried guessing around.

"Cagalli…I'm sorry I didn't call as often as I should've but you see"—

Unfortunately Cagalli interrupted once more.

"Leave, Zala! As if you don't know! You don't know how broken I feel right now!"

Her tears were hot with anger and sadness rolled in one. Athrun just looked shock. He opened his mouth to say something but Cagalli shouted before he could even get a syllable rolling off his tongue.

"I never want to see you again! LEAVE!"

Athrun realized he should just do what she commanded then it would leave time for her to cool off, he'd come back later and then sort things out with her.

"Okay, I'll go."

"Don't ever come back!"

_Please let this be PMS…_Athrun thought, as he walked away from her house. After two days, when Athrun thought Cagalli was cooled off, he came around to her house…only to find out Cagalli had relocated herself.

That was the most devastating day of his life.

* * *

He could not believe it was her. His initial reaction would be to embrace her and never let go but by the look on her face it was clear she still had not 'cooled off'.

Fllay cleared her throat. "Athrun Zala, welcome to _That's Fllay, Live_!"

Athrun couldn't say anything as his gaze was too focused on his ex-girlfriend. Meyrin watched his expression and could not help but feel so low right now. Athrun snapped back and glared at Fllay for an explanation.

"What's going on here? And why is"—

"Cagalli, Meyrin and Meer here?" Fllay finished for the Zala boy. Athrun nodded with his hands clenching at his sides. Fllay let out a chortle before saying.

"For the explanation, we have Meyrin to fill you in."

Meyrin's eyes soared wide-opened, the audience whistled and roared and everyone's eyes glued at the redhead. Athrun looked at her with no expression, his face just showed he wanted some answers.

Meyrin gulped. She stood up from her seat, feeling the heat of Cagalli and Meer's deadly daggering glares on her back.

She stood stiffly in the center of the stage with the hot stuffy spotlight on her and the cameras zooming in closer to her along with the microphones above.

Beads of sweat formed vividly and she felt woozy.

"Meyrin," Athrun spoke "Tell me what's going on."

"Yes, red witch," Meer prodded nastily "Everyone wants to know what the blubbering hell is going on! I have a photo shoot in an hour! So hurry up!"

Meyrin turned slowly to look at Cagalli, the girl she had betrayed and saw the anger and sadness in those gleaming aurora eyes.

She swallowed hard and turned away and started.

"Okay, I'll tell you what's going on, Athrun." She said, her eyes fixing firmly at the blue-haired man.

"You see…it all started when I was cleaning your house." She shared with everyone in participating ears.

"Guess what I found, Athrun?" She asked him and he just looked at her with mild curiosity.

"I found a box…full of love letters and photos of Cagalli."

The audience made a fuss while Athrun's eyes widened. Damn. He knew he should've hidden it better.

"I felt insecure and worried so I went investigating with Fllay under the alias of Luna and got to know your ex-girlfriend, Cagalli and I found out lots of things."

Athrun looked nervous, maybe it would've been different if this wasn't nationwide and in paper view.

"I learned how you and Cagalli used to call each other with pet names, something you keep telling me we shouldn't do because you felt uncomfortable."

Oohs and noises alike with it sounded around the closed place making feel Athrun awkward.

"I well…I just"—

"Let me go on, Athrun." A strange strength fueled from jealousy, anger, hurt and betrayal urged Meyrin to go on with ease.

"Then I learned that you and her traveled around the world and you made beautiful poems to her while you wrote scratch to me." She forgot about the audience and their annoying reactions, which made it easier to say out loud.

"I found out your password to your username was Cagalli's name, what do you make of that?"

"Meyrin—Listen, I"—

"And here's the most disgusting thing I found out about you!"

Before Meyrin could say it and as if on cue, Fllay gave a signal and the pre-interview she had with Meer Campbell was played on the huge screen. It was fast-forwarded to the good parts.

"_Speaking of relationships, tell me more about your previous boyfriends?"_

_Meer laughed. "Well, I don't know if I should."_

"_Oh just one boyfriend! One that you…well let's say took from another?"_

_Meer's face showed confusion. "Is this going to be on the show?"_

"_Don't worry. This is just out of personal curiosity. I just want to know more intimate details of the most famous supermodels of all times."_

_Meer seemed to buy the cheap flattery._

"_Well I do have one."_

_Fllay smiled with anxiety. "Shoot."_

"_Well you see this man happened to belong to my most hated agent in the company"—_

"_Cagalli?"_

"_Yes…wait, how did you know?"_

"_You mentioned that name before we did the interview."_

"_I did? Hmm…oh well. Anyway I flirted with him all night until we got in bed. He then told me how he only dated Cagalli for benefits"—_

"—_Benefits?"_

"_Money, traveling and most especially—sex. He never had true feelings for her. I had the room with a camera and I sent the video of my intimate escapade with Athrun to Cagalli for retribution."_

"_And then what happened?" Fllay asked._

"_Well, she dumped him and I stayed with Athrun for a while. A week or two later Athrun got this voice message from Cagalli begging him to come back."_

"_Did Athrun call her back or something?"_

"_No! But he played it for me. We listened to her pathetic message of that blonde wench—begging and sobbing for Athrun to come back. Crying how incomplete her life is without him. She was pathetic! Athrun and I played and laughed at it all night!"_

"_So…Athrun never loved Cagalli?"_

"_You got that right!"_

To Meer, this was all scandal. But the audience ate every bit of it and licked the flavor from their fingers that was how much they loved it.

Cagalli looked sadly away and Athrun's face was full of shock, Meyrin was indifferent and Fllay was just damn wrong looking maliciously at everything she conquered.

Then it just seemed to get better for the audience when Athrun made an icebreaker.

"Is that why you broke up with me, Cagalli?"

Cagalli looked at Athrun with tears stinging their way out but she held them back.

"Yes." She intoned harshly and coolly, her hands into shaking fists on her lap.

Athrun had a look of disbelief and his voice was raised to the point that was identified as anger.

"You relocated yourself…and never showed yourself to me without properly confirming if this was true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true!" Cagalli barked back. "I saw the video!" She then ended with sarcasm. "I would hate to think Meer was a liar."

To everyone's shock including Meyrin, Cagalli and Fllay….

"Well you should've! Because she is a liar!" Athrun shouted. His green eyes glowered with anger and a snarling wrinkle evident in his nose.

"What if I told you that in the hotel I stayed in Rousseau city was my cousin who happened to look almost identical to me?" Cagalli's mouth hung.

"What if I told you that I never spent time with Meer and that the only time she came to my house was to get my signature for a models' petition and that she must've took the tape from my answering machine?"

Cagalli shrunk back to her seat not uttering anything. Athrun's voice cracked up when he ended.

"What if…I told you how hurt and confused I was when you left me…how I cried and longed for you back till this day? How I missed you and"—

"Sorry to break this up." Fllay cut in, deciding if Athrun continued it would eat up all the show's airtime. Athrun glared at Fllay who evidently didn't like being interrupted.

"Is it true Meer that you lied all along?" Fllay asked.

Meer could only look at the ground and kept silent.

"I'll take that as a yes. Meyrin do you have any say on this?"

Athrun immediately turned to Meyrin whom he almost forgot she was here.

Meyrin sighed sadly at the acknowledgement.

"Yes…Athrun how could you?"

"Meyrin, look I"—

Unfortunately for Athrun it was Interrupt-Athrun-Zala-day.

"You kept secrets from me and isn't relationships based on trusts and security? The thing is Athrun…you couldn't trust me. You lied to me. You never loved me, our relationship was nothing but an empty lie."

Streaks of tears came down from Meyrin's wet eyes.

"You even told me you never bring girls to meet your family…"

"I never did!"

Meyrin motioned her head to Cagalli. "What about her?"

Athrun was almost speechless. "You saw that gallery?"

Meyrin nodded. "Why did Cagalli get to meet your parents while I didn't?"

"Cagalli…" Athrun started, as he gazed at the blonde girl's eyes behind Meyrin and who was seated down.

"Cagalli…was different." He finally let out.

"How so?" Meyrin asked in almost an audible whisper.

Athrun closed his eyes and unclenched his fists that were on his sides.

"Because I love her."

Gasps and hollers were the immediate reaction from the audience and probably from the people who were watching at home.

"Thank you for being honest, Athrun." Meyrin said with no bitterness.

She turned to Fllay with a belittling look.

"Here's your show, Fllay. My boyfriend belongs with his ex…and there's nothing I can do but let them be."

She walked briskly off the set after purposely bumping on Fllay's shoulder, so hard that Fllay stumbled.

* * *

She slumped in her car seat with a box of Kleenex by the passenger's seat for easy reach. Pearly tears glided down her cheeks and her lips twitched and twitched downwards. Her hands loosely held the steering wheel.

Her car was parked in an empty parking lot by the city park. The view in front of her was the mirror smooth lake with geese flying over it.

She had been crying for half an hour now.

She could feel her heart like it was breaking to pieces over and over again…

For the next few days, Meyrin stayed and sulked quietly at home.

* * *

Pigging on ice cream and watching rerun episodes of _Friends. _She was still not feeling good about herself.

She erased Fllay, Cagalli and Athrun's contact numbers, turned off her cell and disconnected her phone.

She needed to get away from the world for a while.

Meyrin sat lazily in her easy chair with a bucket of ice cream and the TV in front of her.

Currently it was an infomercial about carrots when the doorbell rang and Meyrin had a feeling who it was.

"Coming." She said.

Slowly, she opened the door and wasn't entirely shock to see who it was.

"Hello…Athrun and Cagalli…"

The said people were standing there by her doorway, wearing nice clothes and holding hands and Meyrin noticed they were wearing identical rings.

"Hello, Meyrin." Cagalli greeted with a smile. She nudged Athrun in the ribs.

Athrun grunted and then cleared his throat.

"Meyrin, I'm here to apologize."

"It's no biggie, Athrun"—

"And I'd like to thank you." Meyrin blinked.

Athrun snaked an arm around Cagalli. "Thank you for bringing us back together."

Meyrin smiled, a genuine one without regrets or bitterness, it was just a smile, a happy smile that showed she care.

"So any great news you got?" Meyrin asked.

Cagalli nodded. "Athrun and I are engaged. We plan to marry as soon as possible, I'd like you to be my maid of honor if that's fine with you."

Meyrin beamed. "Of course! Anything for you after what I did."

"Let's not bring the past back. After all the past is the past and it can never be changed." Athrun said.

"Yes, but just make sure you arranged the past properly." Meyrin pointed out.

Athrun shrugged. "Damn right. We each have a share of the blame."

"But nothing we can't repair…friends?" Meyrin offered her hand to Athrun and he gladly took it.

"Definitely."

"So…" Meyrin started after their hands parted. "What have you two have been doing lately aside from inside the bedroom?"

Both couple blushed simultaneously. Meyrin giggled at their red faces.

"I have a surprise for you, Meyrin." Cagalli changed the subject.

The blonde handed the redhead an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Open it and find out."

She did and Meyrin shrieked when she saw what it was inside.

"A ticket to Oxford!"

"I also sent my recommendations to that Media Network you wanted to work, Sun Station right?"

Meyrin nodded excitedly. "How can I ever repay you?"

Athrun chuckled. "Just be there at our wedding." Athrun answered. He and Cagalli looked at each other lovingly. Meyrin watched and realized something.

All of this was meant to happen and was she glad it did.

* * *

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The minister said.

Athrun removed the silky veil that covered Cagalli's face and placed it over her head.

He brushed his thumb on her lower lip before he leaned down and kissed her.

They were finally married and in a pretty suite hotel by the beach. They were married at sunset by the ocean. The guests sat in benches that could support in the sand.

Cagalli wore a beautiful simple and elegant white dress and Athrun looked smart and handsome in his white tux that had a unique design, Stellar Louisser did both attires.

It seemed like forever when the two finally let go…but it was only for air because shortly after they parted…they kissed once more in a long deep languid lock.

Meyrin took a glance at someone else's watch to see how long they'd stay like that.

"Meyrin?" The owner of the said watch uttered in disbelief.

Meyrin looked up to see it was Shinn Asuka…her other ex-boyfriend!

"Shinn? What are you doing here?"

Shinn smiled. "I'm Cagalli's lawyer." Meyrin then remembered Shinn took up law after AB English.

"Oh, well that's great." Meyrin remarked.

"Looks like those two won't be done for a while." Shinn thumbed over Athrun and Cagalli who were still not yet done kissing and the minister was ready to throw the bible at them because it would seem they would take the honeymoon here and now.

"What have you been doing?" Shinn asked.

"I'm a broadcaster at Sun Station." Meyrin replied. Shinn kept on smiling.

"That's great, I knew you'd be successful."

"So do you have a significant other, Mr. Asuka?"

Much to Meyrin's surprise, Shinn shook his head. "Been busy to keep up a relationship, you?"

"I'm on the market, not sure if it's a good thing."

She was mildly surprise when Shinn held her hand. "I'd say it is."

She gazed into those ruby eyes that shone brilliantly in the orange glow of the sunset.

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Depends," Meyrin smirked "Do you have an ex-girlfriend?"

Shinn grinned. "You were the last girlfriend I had."

"Flings?"

"A couple but they weren't serious. Hey! Shouldn't we save this stuff on conversations in a date?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"Well…why not?"

"That's pretty forward of you."

"I'm making a brand new influence on people that involves being forward."

Meyrin lit up to a wider smile. "In that case, I'll see you tomorrow then." Shinn was glad to hear that.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to see you again."

Their eyes locked together like the lips of Athrun and Cagalli. A gentle breeze blew in and the sun finally set leaving the moon to shine like a pearl in the night sky amidst the stars. Everything happens for a reason, in which, Meyrin learns and shares that the end of a relationship only leads to a new direction in life.

They indulged the rest of the night in the reception inside the hotel and had a grand time.

Meyrin caught the bouquet and Shinn caught the bride's garter.

And how exactly did they stop the kissing of Athrun and Cagalli? Let's just say the minister lost it.

**>>>The End** **

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**A/n: **Take that anonymous darer! Well what do you think? Is it okay? I look forward to your opinions and thank you for all your support and reviews.


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